A Story about Change

Before embarking on your recovery journey, it might be helpful to reflect on the following story from “Eating in the Light of the Moon” by Dr. Anita Johnston (Gurze Books, 1996).

This story can be a helpful way of thinking about anorexia. Anorexia is known to be a ‘functional’ illness -that is, it serves some useful purpose at its outset, and in some way makes things easier or more bearable. However, as time goes on, it starts to do more harm than good and can actually prevent people from moving forward. Ultimately anorexia usually ends up maintaining the very problems it initially set out to solve. Overcoming anorexia and letting go of the feeling of safety that it provides is difficult. It takes practice, strength, skills and encouragement. These are the things that therapy aims to provide, so that you aren’t letting go of your safety net without help.

Imagine yourself standing in the rain on the bank of a raging river. Suddenly, the water-swollen bank gives way. You fall in and find yourself being tossed around in the water. Your efforts to keep afloat are futile and you are drowning. By chance, along comes a huge log and you grab it and hold on tight. The log keeps your head above water and saves your life. Clinging onto the log, you are swept down stream and eventually come to a place where the water is calm. There, in the distance, you see a riverbank and attempt to swim to the shore. You are unable to do so, however, because you are still clinging to the huge log with one arm as you stroke with the other. How ironic. The very thing that saved your life is getting in the way of your getting where you want to go. There are people on the shore who see you struggle and yell, “Let go of the log!”. But you are unable to do so because you have no confidence in your ability to make it to shore. However, after a while, very carefully and slowly, you let go of the log and practice floating. When you start to sink you grab back on. Then you let go and practice treading water, and when you get tired, hold on once again. After a while, you practice swimming around the log, once, twice, ten times, twenty times, a hundred times, until you gain the strength and confidence you need to swim to shore. Only then do you let go of the log.