What are schemas?
Schemas (sometimes called ‘early maladaptive schemas’) are enduring patterns of thoughts and feelings that develop during childhood or adolescence and persist throughout our lives.
They consist of beliefs, feelings and memories about the self, others and the environment, which we accept without question. We all have schema, but the extent to which they affect our functioning and quality of life will vary from person to person.
It is thought that schemas develop when childhood needs are not met in some way, although they are also influenced by our temperament and the culture or society we grow up in. Examples of this might be:
A child who didn’t get their core needs met (regardless of the reason)
A child who has an abusive or highly critical parent or carer
A child who internalises the negative voice of a parental figure. This may be due to the parent talking to the child in this way, or the child seeing the way in which the parent talks to themselves.
A child who receives too much of a good thing. This includes children who have been overprotected, overindulged or given an excessive degree of freedom and autonomy without any limits being set.
It is important to remember that an individual’s childhood does not need to be abusive in order for problematic schemas to develop; there just needs to be an enduring pattern of needs not being met. The core emotional needs of every child include: safety, a stable base/predictability, love, acceptance and praise, empathy and understanding, autonomy, realistic limits, validation of feelings and needs, fun, play and spontaneity. If these are not met for any reason, for example because the parent did not have their needs met and therefore struggled to know how to meet those needs in their child, problematic schemas can develop.
Schemas typically involve very distressing thoughts about the self or others, which in turn leave us feeling anxious, depressed or lonely. This often causes people to engage in coping behaviours, to try and avoid the things that trigger the schema or to push the upsetting emotions away (see the box “Coping Styles” for more on these). However, these behaviours often only reinforce the schema we are trying to escape in the first place.
Once these schemas have been developed, it can be hard to change them without help. It can be hard to recognise the schemas - with people often accepting that these thoughts are truths. Or it can be hard to imagine letting go of the schemas because they have been around so long they feel familiar and comfortable – “better the devil you know”. We can even distort our view of events in our lives to keep our schemas going, seeing everything through “schema tinted glasses”. Schemas may also remain dormant until they are activated by situations relevant to that particular schema, when they will often hit us like a tsunami.
So what might a schema look like?
Imagine a child who has grown up being constantly criticised by those around them. They may have parents with high expectations, go to a school with high standards, or find themselves being bullied by peers. They may well develop the beliefs “I am not good enough”, “There is something wrong with me” or “I can’t trust other people”. These beliefs will be stored alongside memories of some of these experiences – and the memories may be very powerful, shame-filled memories. Because these thoughts are so distressing, often causing sadness, anxiety or loneliness, the child is likely to try and find ways of coping. This might be binge eating, using drugs or alcohol, or self-harming to try and avoid the emotions; avoiding spending time with others in order to avoid being bullied; or putting extreme amounts of effort into what they do in order to try and avoid being criticised. These behaviours are attempts to survive, or cope as best as possible with difficult situations and distressing emotions. However, they typically serve to perpetuate the schema, by ensuring that the child does not get their needs met, and by reinforcing the distressing thoughts.
What are the 18 schemas?
Jeffrey Young, who developed schema therapy, identified 18 common schemas.
1) Abandonment/instability – The belief that others will leave or will not be able to continue to offer support, connection or protection because they are unpredictable, will die, or will find someone better.
2) Mistrust/abuse - The belief that others will intentionally hurt, abuse, humiliate, cheat, lie, manipulate, take advantage, or neglect.
3) Emotional deprivation - The belief that others will be unable to meet your emotional needs.
4) Defectiveness/shame - The belief that you are defective, bad, or unworthy, often accompanied by a heightened sensitivity to criticism, rejection and blame.
5) Social isolation/alienation - The belief that you are isolated or different from others; not part of the group.
6) Dependence/incompetence - The belief that you can’t handle daily responsibilities without the help of others; a sense of helplessness.
7) Vulnerability to harm or illness – The belief that a catastrophe will strike at any moment and you are unable to prevent it – whether medical, emotional or external (e.g. earthquake, victim of a crime)
8) Enmeshment/underdeveloped self – Excessive emotional involvement with others (often parents) at the expense of usual self- or social-development
9) Failure - The belief that you will fail in everything.
10) Entitlement/grandiosity - The belief that you are superior to others and are entitled to special rights or privileges that they are not.
11) Insufficient self-control/self-discipline – The difficulty or refusal to exercise the self-control needed to achieve personal goals or, at the milder level, excessive attempts to avoid discomfort (avoiding pain, conflict, confrontation, responsibility) at the cost of personal integrity or personal fulfillment.
12) Subjugation - The belief that you should surrender control to others in order to avoid anger, retaliation, or abandonment.
13) Self-sacrifice - The belief that others needs should be put before your own, resulting in your own needs not being met; typically to avoid the other feeling pain, or to avoid feelings of guilt.
14) Approval-seeking/recognition-seeking - The desire to gain approval, recognition, or attention from other people at the expense of developing a secure and true sense of self.
15) Negativity/pessimism – A pervasive, life-long focus on the negatives in life, including pain, death, loss, disappointment, conflict, guilt, or things that could go wrong; neglecting the positive aspects of life.
16) Overcontrol/emotional inhibition – The excessive inhibition of actions, feelings, or communications (suppressing anger, positive impulses, or struggling to express vulnerability and needs) to avoid negative consequences.
17) Unrelenting standards - The belief that you must strive to meet very high personal standards, resulting in significant impairment in pleasure, relaxation, health, self-esteem or relationships, often accompanied by hypercriticalness.
18) Punitiveness - The belief that people should face be harshly punished for their mistakes.
There is more information about most of these schemas – and steps you can take to address them – in ‘Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behaviour… and feel great again’ by Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko (1993).